Political Interlude Nobody's Going to Read

As we all patiently wait for the arrival of Spring on our calendars, I'm going to dip my toe into the political maelstrom for one brief point about Narrative; please note I'm using that word in the grand sense. Much of our lives is spent constructing narratives that explain our everyday existence, a story framework that gives meaning where there may, in fact, be none. We all imagine ourselves as the central hero of a grand narrative of our lives. It's comforting, right?

Writers spend their lives grappling with issues of storytelling and the meaning of narratives and one thing most of us understand is that at the root of all drama is conflict. Without conflict, little to no drama. The type of conflict is in many ways irrelevant. Its existence, and the attendant drama, hold an audience's attention. The conflict, for an adept writer, can be created out of whole cloth, but as long as an audience wants to believe it, an audience will watch it.

In the entertainment world, where keeping audience attention is critical, the truth of an actual conflict is secondary to keeping the audience in their seats.

In the political world, I think manufactured conflict is a bit more problematic. At this point in time, I can't shake the feeling that the media is manufacturing conflict - and thus narrative - where none actually exists and I can see only two possible motives, one self-serving, one that could be considered journalistic over-reach.

I'm primarily (pun intended) focused on the democratic party right now. I'm a lifelong democrat, so they occupy most of my focus, both positive and negative. If you look at today's primary standings, Clinton has 1231 delegates and Sanders has 576. Since we liberals are the ones to tout our belief in science and math, can we focus for a second on the fact that this numerical disparity would be considered a commanding lead in any other race? It is nearly a statistical impossibility that Sanders can win the nomination yet the media still portrays this as a neck and neck race. Why?

Conflict. 

By manufacturing a conflict, the media has the narrative that is Clinton v. Sanders. That narrative is what keeps people tuning in. If the democratic story is over until the general campaign begins, all those democrats may turn their channels from the news outlets until that point in time. Those revenue dollars then go somewhere other than the news channels. So, that's the self-serving motive that I pointed out. The news media needs to generate viewers and one way to do it is report things in such a way to keep their narrative running.

You may shrug this off and say, "hey, it's the media. This is what they do." Yes and no. News outlets are supposed to report on events with editorial balance, but you may have noticed that over the last few years, traditional news has slipped into the "infotainment" category, where we rely ever-increasingly on the news channels' interpretations of the events, rather than any kind of objective reporting. When much of the public relies more heavily on TV Comedians for their news sources than actual news-reporting agencies, there's a problem.

To recap, Clinton has a nearly unbeatable lead and all reality-based statistics point to the conclusion that she will be the Democratic nominee for president. Everyone can understand the need for ratings and the self-serving motives of TV Networks in prolonging a story. But the troubling undercurrent here is that you could argue that the news outlets are actually trying to influence the elections. Does the constant narrative of an underdog win by Sanders somehow destabilize the elections themselves? Is he the one being propped up by the media, rather than the popularly-touted claim that Clinton is always getting the benefit of the doubt?

I make no judgment about the candidates themselves, but I do encourage you to question your news sources and the media. Their agenda may not always be the same as yours.

Apologies for the dip into politics. Martini Mondays will return in the spring!

Martini Mondays - Interlude

Hey, it's a holiday, so drink whatever you like.

I'm using this off-week to talk a brief second about glassware. Some folks get really tweaked about glasses in general. I'm a little more "come as you are" on the glassware front. Whatever gets it into my mouth does the job. But within that parameter, there are endless variations.

You find coupes, cocktail glasses, giant birdbaths and everything in between. My two thoughts on glasses for your martini:

First, giant oversized glasses may look like a circus trick and allow you to pour in an eight-ounce martini, but they tend to be unstable and drinks that large go tepid before you usually drink them. I prefer my martinis, no matter the recipe, to be well- chilled.

Second, pack your glass with ice ahead of time. That way, the chill on your drink lasts longer.

Like wine glasses, cocktail glasses are stemmed so that you don't have to hold the vessel itself, thus using your own body heat to warm a drink that usually isn't served with ice.

Simple, right?

#martinimondays

Martini Mondays #4 - Choice of Poison

I have a martini and I feel, once more, real.
  --Anne Sexton

As with the proverbial manners that maketh the man and accessories that crown the outfit, so too with ingredients sealing the deal in cocktails. Lord knows a lot of other deals have been sealed based on a well-made cocktail. Using high quality, specially chosen ingredients is the hallmark of gastronomical success and selections from behind the bar are no different. While perhaps this column should have been the first in the series, I held off for two reasons.

First, without some basic knowledge and drink recipes under your belt, you may be hesitant to embark into a world of complete nuance and personal taste, which leads to--

Second, I don't want to give the impression that I'm a snob about this stuff, as if there's only one way to drink and it's based on some arcane knowledge only the privileged few possess.  I have my opinions about things, but they are the opinions based on my own palate and preferences.

My preferences are informed ones.

The picture to the left is from a recent gin tasting I had the good fortune to attend. You can see ten different bottles of gin (and seven kinds of bitters) sitting on this counter, and that wasn't all the gin we had in the house. This line-up was inspired by vacation finds - from somewhere other than our neighborhood liquor stores - that a few of us brought together for an evening of tasting and mixology.

Quite simply, the more you taste and try, the more you're able to narrow down your own opinions and preferences. There are no wrong answers when someone asks, "what do you like to drink?" Drinking is an inherently pleasurable act and if there's no pleasure involved for you, you're doing it wrong. That isn't to say your taste can't change over time as you, yourself, change. In my youth, Beefeater on the rocks was my choice at the bar. With more experience and interests, I tasted everything I could get my hands on. For now, my favorite martini variation, with specific and somewhat challenging ingredients to source, is as follows--

My Favorite Martini (...today 10/5/15)

2 oz. Bluecoat Barrel Aged American Gin
1 oz. Carpano Bianco Vermouth
2 dashes The Bitter Truth Orange Bitters
Lemon Twist

Gently stir all liquid ingredients in a beaker over large ice cubes. Strain into a chilled coupe and twist in the lemon peel.

The Taste

In the glass, the barrel aged gin gives a lustrous golden color to the drink. It's redolent of honey, oak, wildflowers and juniper. The aging lends the gin more heft and roundness in the mouth than standard bottlings and this feels like a more substantial drink than the classic martini, with the oak and juniper pairing nicely to the dried-fruit notes of the vermouth. For me, this is an easy-drinker and it offers an over-abundance of simple pleasures. Especially after two of them.

The main trick with ingredients, of course, is discovering what you like, and in what combinations you like it. The martini is endlessly flexible in this regard, and endlessly forgiving.

So, be bold. Taste everything. Experiment. Most of all, have fun.

Next Week - On Being a Pro

#martinimondays

Martini Mondays #3 - The Vesper Seduction

Only lust and gluttony are worth a darn.
  --John Steinbeck

Since Daniel Craig took on the mantle of James Bond, the most famous cinematic spy of all time, the Vesper martini has been one of the most prevalent variants in pop culture. Going retro and reaching back to the first Bond novel, screenwriters Purvis, Wade and Haggis give Craig everything he needs to one-up his predecessors, at least as far as drink ordering is concerned.

In the original Casino Royale novel, Bond specifies--

"Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?" Bond eventually christens the drink, the Vesper, after the beautiful woman he falls in love with. Like its namesake, the drink is beautiful, seductive, and more than a little dangerous.

A particular alchemy comes into play with the Vesper. The mixed cocktail far exceeds the sum of its individual parts. Remember last week's vodka discussion? The "one part" vodka ups the strength of the drink without skewing the flavor profile. The substitution of Lillet for traditional vermouth swings things in a fruit direction, rather than a botanical one. If you mix to Bond's recipe, it's also quite a large drink.

I've tinkered with the concoction over the years and tried recipes from other places, but still adhere to the gin/vodka/Lillet core. One addition I took from the White Dog Cafe in Philadelphia is the idea of an absinthe rinse in the glass, which adds a cold, bracing tang.

Vesper #11

1 oz. Green Hat Gin
1 oz. Dogfish Head Jin
1 oz. Absolut Vodka
1 oz. Lillet Blanc
Dash Scrappy's Lime Bitters
1 t. Absinthe
Lemon Peel for garnish

Fill your cocktail glass with crushed ice and pour the absinthe over; swirl it in the glass to give the inside a coating rinse. In a shaker with ice, combine the rest of the ingredients, and shake furiously until the shaker itself is frosty. Dump the absinthe and ice from the well-chilled glass and strain the cocktail directly into it, garnishing with a twist of lemon.

The Taste

When crafted well, this drink tastes like chilled air, liquid oxygen, and it's so bracing when it goes down, you just want to quaff more. All the components seem to blend into a sinuous coolness that defies description. It smells a little like tart citrus with a whiff of anise from the rinse, but the flowery Green Hat and the Vanilla-tinged Dogfish Head merge with the Lillet to deliver something you have no right to expect.

The danger with this drink, of course, is that it's quite large by cocktail standards (and you'll notice I eliminate 1 full part of gin) and you can just keep drinking them. Like Vesper herself, you can get yourself into deep trouble very quickly. She'll double-cross you with a wicked hangover. After an evening of drinking these on my spacious porch, one iron-livered friend of mine put it the next morning, "I now understand what the phrase 'reeks of gin' means."

Next week - Ingredients Matter

#martinimondays

Martini Mondays #2 - The Vodka Question

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
    --James Thurber

Once you establish the classic, as we did last week, the door opens to endless variations of ingredients. Dozens of gins are available everywhere these days, and each brings something to the table when talking about martinis. More or less flavor overall. More or less body. More or less botanical profile. And that's just talking about gin, without considering the vermouth or garnish. Then come the variations in base spirit. While James Bond films have popularized the vodka martini, vodka presents an interesting question.

Let's establish a couple of ground rules for the weeks to come. (1) Every twee drink name that ends in "tini" should not be confused with an actual martini. So, Chocotinis and Appletinis are not what we're discussing. They're a marketing gimmick where sweet drinks are dumped into cocktail glasses to ride a true martini's coattails.  These drinks are made for people who want to get their drink on, but don't actually like the taste of spirits. (2) I'm a minimalist when it comes to garnishes. I don't want a meal in my glass. I want a good, old-fashioned, ice-cold cocktail.

Vodka is designed to be essentially flavorless, making it the ideal mixer if you want to add punch to non-alcoholic beverages, but on its own is not particularly interesting. Using it in a martini, vodka yields the stage to the vermouth and the garnish. If you use last week's classic recipe substituting vodka for gin, you end up with a slightly vapid, flowery, citrus-forward dink. How to improve on the base vodka martini? This brings us to garnishes.

The eternal argument of lemon twist vs. olive as garnish in a martini reaches extreme proportions in the "dirty" martini, which includes various amounts of olive brine in the mix. Any olive will add a salty, vegetal spin to the drink, no matter the base liquor. I happen to think it ruins a gin martini. However, vodka is a different matter.

The Dirty Vodka Martini

2 oz Kettle One Vodka
1 oz Martini Extra Dry Vermouth
1 dash Olive Brine
1 dash Angostura Bitters
Garnish with olives to your personal taste

Where this martini is concerned, I agree with Bond. Shaking is the way to go. It should be brutally cold when served.

The Taste

As long a you don't overdo it on the olive juice, you won't be overwhelmed by salt. In my version, the color actually comes from the Angostura and the bitters adds a sharp edge to balance with the viscous mouthfeel of the olives. This version is milder and softer than you might imagine.

A note on the olives: really, whatever you like is what you should go with. I avoid ones that are stuffed with anything, because then that tends to dominate the flavor. For me, smaller olives are better because the large ones tend to feel rubbery and meaty if they sit in the drink too long.

While the dirty vodka martini will never be at the top of my goto list of drinks, its popularity and appeal are undeniable. In case you were wondering, I would never dirty-up a gin drink. I'm not insane.

Next week: James Bond's OTHER big contribution to martini lore.

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