Doctor, Heal Thyself

Let's talk healthcare, shall we? And by talk, I don't mean hysterical shouting.

I know I blogged about this before, but it bears repeating for the halfwits out there - and there are so desperately many of you, aren't there? - being louder doesn't make you right or make your opinion more valid. All it really does is make you shrill and embarrassing, and lessens the weight of your own arguments, especially when you're shouting things like "socialism" and "death squads"! I saw some daft old fart standing in the blazing sunshine with a sandwich board bearing multi-colored lettering that said something to the effect of "euthanize the Obama health care plan, not our senior citizens."

Now, I'll push aside any wish-fulfillment jokes about golden-agers and euthanasia for the moment, and get to the real point: if you're so fucking stupid you believe this health plan calls for Sarah's Squads then you're dumber than the guy holding the sign. More than that, your fear-mongering screaming makes you un-American. That's right, all you right-wing fuck-nuts, you're anti-American. The country I live in shouldn't let people suffer for lack of access to some of the most advanced medical technology in the world. It's inhumane to allow a large swath of our populace go uninsured while you run around like hysterical weasels shouting things like "Nazi" and "Un-constitutional".

So, if you have a legitimate point of argument, come to the table and discuss it like an adult. If nothing else, the past few weeks have proven that your government is listening. But just because they listen doesn't mean you automatically get your way. Stop behaving like toddlers and help be part of the solution rather than just a wrench in the works. Believe me, they want to hear an alternative that is workable and makes sense. The current healthcare system does - not - work. You must acknowledge that. All the invective gums up the works, and nothing moves forward. That, too, makes you un-American. Bringing the country to a halt out of spite is petty and vindictive, and doesn't help anyone get the coverage they need.

Stop listening to the convenient, simplistic lies, and take on the responsibility of figuring out how you could possibly help your representatives fix the problems that face us. We're moving on, whether you like it or not. You can bury your head in the sand, but we might just cover the rest of you up as we pass you by.

Rules of the Road

Writing about politics has been giving me fits, so I'm going back to the semi-humorous ranting that puts the twinkle in my eye.

Today's topic: courtesy on today's over-crowded streets. It's only by our general compliance that chaos doesn't rule our roads, but I've noticed a breakdown in our communal adherence to the letter of the law of late. Maybe it's the summer heat, maybe it's the economic malaise infusing our every waking hour, maybe it's just that as Americans we feel a level of entitlement that puts us above the vehicular law. Whatever the cause, I think a few easy-to follow rules could help us all out.

Rules For Drivers:

1. Crawling up my ass will not get you to your destination faster. Back off.
2. Your horn is not the "Easy Button."
3. Your phone call is not more important than the 1200 lb projectile you're piloting.
4. Driving a BMW doesn't exempt you from the law. Similarly...
5. Homies in Escalades are still supposed to obey the traffic rules.
6. Using your turn signal prevents me from using my easy button.

I recognize this isn't a one-way street however, and that drivers aren't the only ones with responsibilities where our roads are concerned. So here are some helpful...

Rules for Pedestrians:

1. Texting while stepping out into traffic - against the light - will not stop a moving car.
2. Crosswalks technically put you in the right, but also will not stop a moving vehicle.
3. Putting your hand up does not stop a moving car.
4. Jaywalking means you're too lazy to walk to the corner where there's a light to help you cross. We're fat enough already. Take the extra steps.
5. The fastest way across the street is a straight line, not an ambling diagonal one.
6. Just because you look away from a car doesn't mean it won't run you over.

Now, let's all use the road responsibly and have fun out there.

Back To Business

Man, sometimes I hate to be right, especially about the depressing stuff.

The past week in politics has done nothing but prove President Obama's campaign rhetoric - so eloquent and inspiring - played well with the voters, but not within the Washington circles who actually run the government. Republicans sharpen the knives for Sotomayor's confirmation hearings, while Democrats braid the noose for Dick Cheyney. Have things really changed that much under the new administration?

Perhaps the President intends to remain above the fray, like he tried to do while Iran melted down. The danger is that, like Iran, he'll be forced to weigh in later, making it look like he's behind the curve and not on top of the issues. If he continues with this trend, his public image could be irreparably harmed, by making him appear hopelessly out of touch and belatedly reactionary, or even worse, irrelevant to the discussion.

This, to me, all sounds like politics as usual. Wasn't that what we were getting away from?

Meanwhile, the economy continues to gasp its last breath, with over 300,000 workers displaced from the auto industry alone. There are simply no signs of recovery on the horizon. Shouldn't this take precedence over a public baiting of a nominee even the republicans admit will be confirmed, or revenge against a former Vice President? (The greatest revenge against that turd is consigning him to political irrelevance and having him live long enough to see all his hateful and hurtful damage undone.)

Maybe I'm missing the point, but shouldn't government be working on the economy, the two wars, and the healthcare issue 24/7, rather than the tired political jockeying? When will the country actually move forward? There was a lot of momentum after the campaign, but where has it all gone?

Screenwriting Lessons From Baseball

If you're expecting a discourse on Bull Durham or Pride of the Yankees, you're going to be disappointed, here. We're going to start today's lesson from the trenches with a dissection of what's wrong with pro baseball. I'm pretty sure this applies to most pro sports, but I don't give a flying fuck about them, so you're stuck with baseball as the metaphor of the day.

Some of my fondest memories from being a kid were of the evenings when we'd pile into the car and drive down to Baltimore to catch a mid-week Oriels game; we'd leave when my mom got home from work, drive the hour to the stadium, buy a couple of tickets, watch batting practice, try to cage autographs, eat hot dogs, then watch the game, drive the hour home drowsy in mid-summer torpor, and be in bed by 11. My family didn't have a whole lot of money, but we didn't have to skip any meals to afford a couple of games a month. If you look at it in today's terms, I could never do this with my kids. Seats comparable to those we used to get are now $60 in Philadelphia. You can easily spend $100 on food and not be sated. What the fuck happened to baseball?

I can understand that ticket prices go up. I don't think prices rise in proportion to any real market influence, but let's just leave money out of it for now. The real baseball crime is that it now takes four hours to play a game, and mostly what you watch is a pitching duel. You're lucky if you see five hits in a game. I gotta tell you, this is boring as shit. Watching managers shuffle pitchers to match individual batters is frustrating and annoying for the fans. It's sucking every last bit of fun out of the game. Therein lies my point.

When it comes to writing scripts, you need to keep the fun. By that, I don't mean you have to be writing comedy, but that you have to keep the enjoyment of what you're doing in the front of your mind. Most of you aren't get paid to write, so you better be having fun on some level, and it better show in your scripts.

When people gripe about Hollywood movies - and this summer's crop has been especially bad - they're griping about the pitchers' duel: films so neutered of any kind of creative enjoyment in favor of some committee-created entertainment processed to be marketed to some particular demographic that they've sucked the fun out of going to the movies. Your first draft script is about the only thing in the process you can actually call your own, so enjoy it, let a reader sense that, and swing for the fences.

The Man In The Mirror

Ha, fooled you! It's not a post about Michael. That's been covered enough, don't you think? No, I'm writing about us, the people we see reflected every day, because I really want to know what the hell is wrong with society. The endless celebrity worship is getting a bit scary.

I know it's always been here - movie rags have been printed almost as long as movies themselves - but it seems to be rising into a fugue of idiocy. Jackson - okay, I admit, this post is partly about him - has been nothing but a tabloid punchline for years, but now we're declaring a day of world mourning, dominating all media in way he could only have dreamed of while he was still sucking wind.

There's a disconnect somewhere. It used to be, celeb worship was based on the public persona (it used to be more tightly managed by stars and studios, to avoid career meltdowns like Tom Cruise on Oprah) of stars, who appeared rich, glamorous, usually happy, and always, always, passionate. In other words, we worshiped the idea that these stars had licked all the problems mere mortals struggled with: bills, depression, romantic longing. But now, look at who we're fixating on: Jackson has been the center ring of a circus of freaks for the bulk of his life. Is this really the guy we idolize and aspire to? Add to this the endless parade of pro athletes with mug shots, political figures with well-greased zippers, and movie stars who have no off-camera life, and I wonder who were supposed to strive to be. Actually, I wonder who kids are aspiring to be these days.

Am I cynical and old? I suppose, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong, either. Get a grip on yourselves, people. You decide who you want to be, not based on celebrities, because you know what, they're as fucked up as we are... except with more money... and cameramen.