Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Rules of the Road

Writing about politics has been giving me fits, so I'm going back to the semi-humorous ranting that puts the twinkle in my eye.

Today's topic: courtesy on today's over-crowded streets. It's only by our general compliance that chaos doesn't rule our roads, but I've noticed a breakdown in our communal adherence to the letter of the law of late. Maybe it's the summer heat, maybe it's the economic malaise infusing our every waking hour, maybe it's just that as Americans we feel a level of entitlement that puts us above the vehicular law. Whatever the cause, I think a few easy-to follow rules could help us all out.

Rules For Drivers:

  1. Crawling up my ass will not get you to your destination faster. Back off.
  2. Your horn is not the "Easy Button."
  3. Your phone call is not more important than the 1200 lb projectile you're piloting.
  4. Driving a BMW doesn't exempt you from the law. Similarly...
  5. Homies in Escalades are still supposed to obey the traffic rules.
  6. Using your turn signal prevents me from using my easy button.
I recognize this isn't a one-way street however, and that drivers aren't the only ones with responsibilities where our roads are concerned. So here are some helpful...

Rules for Pedestrians:
  1. Texting while stepping out into traffic - against the light - will not stop a moving car.
  2. Crosswalks technically put you in the right, but also will not stop a moving vehicle.
  3. Putting your hand up does not stop a moving car.
  4. Jaywalking means you're too lazy to walk to the corner where there's a light to help you cross. We're fat enough already. Take the extra steps.
  5. The fastest way across the street is a straight line, not an ambling diagonal one.
  6. Just because you look away from a car doesn't mean it won't run you over.
Now, let's all use the road responsibly and have fun out there.

2 comments:

  1. This is all ten times worse if you're driving in the shore area. Once at the beach, pedestrians totally forget that cars are on the road, or that simply walking across the street will signal all oncoming traffic to stop.

    It's sooo unnerving and I HATE IT.

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