If you were to speak of me with any of my old friends, you probably wouldn't be too far into the conversation before the word "cynical" was put into play. While I like to think of it as a realist approach to life, many misinterpret me to have an overly-jaundiced view of the world. It's not a glass half empty/full question, it's more that I'm focused on where the next drink is coming from.
You'd think that any realist approach would negate a relationship with religions, superstitions, ideas of karmic balance, etc. That's not quite the case because I, like all people, have a spiritual side to me and I spend a lot of internal time considering big existential questions. My realist side prohibits me considering karma as some kind of cosmic ledger sheet with transactions that are totaled at the end of the day. I think good and kind things are the way to live your life, regardless of payback.
Sometimes, though, you are confronted with evidence that's a little hard to ignore.
This morning, in a rare twist, my commute got me to my office well in advance of my first meeting of the day. Rather than settle for office-brewed coffee, which is perfectly fine but never spectacular, I realized I had time for a trip to Joe Coffee to score a latte and pastry before chaining myself to my desk. Walking past one of the little-used entrances to my building, I saw the homeless guy who sometimes camps there out of the wind. He looked even more disheveled than usual and was fidgeting and picking something off his clothes. Realizing I was going to buy a 4$ coffee of all things and this guy hadn't probably had anything to eat today, I reached in my pocket and gave him the wad of one dollar bills I was carrying, figuring I could always use my debit card for the coffee. The guy looked up and nodded when I handed him the cash, then retreated into his own internal world.
I continued on to the coffee shop and, frankly, I was wondering how the homeless guy had made it through this particularly brutal winter. I wasn't paying attention when I got in line and ordered my coffee and pastry, so I didn't see the handwritten sign explaining their internet was down and it was cash only to pay for items. It's always embarrassing to be caught out without a way to pay for something and I quickly asked the barista to cancel my order. Before she could do so however, the woman in line ahead of me stepped in, saying, "I'd be happy to buy that for you. I know how that feels." I thanked her profusely and she replied, "Just pay it forward."
"You're not going to believe this..." and I told her about my morning.
On the way back to my office, the homeless guy had already left, hopefully to use my money to buy himself something to eat.
The incident didn't make me less of a realist and I still don't think karma is a cosmic vending machine, but it's nice to know that the world can be a better place if we're all a little kinder to each other.
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